Yup, I've been away from this and busy. I've been to Ireland, graduated from college, been accepted to work in Japan and cleaned my room. Yes, I know that is indeed a miracle.
While doing so, I've realized how short and limited are the memories of a single human mind. Somehow though, all the holes and fragments in my mind though are completed in the extension known as my room. Especially, now that I know the contents of my room.
While I sought to dig my room out of its disastrous state, I've incidentally done a lot of soul-searching. I found things I never knew I had written. I found letters written that were never sent. I found drawings I didn't know I could have even drawn. I even found a pack of cigarettes that I bought in Germany to remind me how horrible it was to be trapped in a small room with smokers.
The cleaning of my room, to a very limited extent, was a spiritual experience. I now feel like I know myself better, but at the same time have no clue what to do with this information. Instead of feeling like I had a limited list of abilities, I now feel spread too thin and unable to decide on a future occupation. For now though, I am supposing that I could be a writer in some limited capacity and that shred of focus gives me hope.
